Honoring Jane Flader

Tribute Page

Jane Flader, who attended and served Christ Church her whole life, died on April 8th after a year and a half battle with cancer. The family and the church will hold her funeral and a celebration of her life when we are all able to come together once again. During this time of social distancing, we have created this page to honor Jane, to share memories, reflections, and photos as we normally would at church on a Sunday. If you would like to contribute, please email priest@christchurchtrumbull.org.

We pray for peace and comfort for all those who grieve the loss of Jane, an incredible, strong, giving woman who touched so many lives.

    

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  • Susan Vasone

    With thanks for having known Jane, I open this with great appreciation for her friendship, warmth and the joy of her smile.

    The love that poured from her for her family, her church and her friends was so easy to see; she openly showed it.

    Having served with her for many years on vestry, through many fellowship dinners and the making of many, many pies, I was truly blessed to do so with such a good friend. A friend, whom when I was at a crossroads with the church, came to my home and said simply, “please don’t leave, need your help with these fellowship dinners, how would you like to work at Benedict’s?” Thus began my years of working with Jane. I was trusted and supported to offer suggestions, and ultimately earn a CNLA certificate.

    The years spent with Jane was a blessing. My true joy is the remembrance of when something completely made her happy, no other smile could match hers. I will miss her, but forever be grateful of that day in my house, when she asked me to stay. I was allowed to be her friend for years longer.

  • Matthew 25:23

    "His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!

  • Pastor Jane

    I came to Christ Church in September 2018 and almost immediately Jane was diagnosed. Over this past year and a half Jane has made a profound impact on me that I will not forget. Unlike anyone I have ever met, Jane showed an incredible inner strength, determination, and faith. Throughout her illness, Jane made it all look so easy. As a Palliative Care Chaplain, I know that what she was going through was anything but easy. She never complained, but I know that she faced daily pain, difficulty sleeping, pain and loss of feeling in her hands, swelling in the feet, extreme fatigue, lack of appetite, change in taste, vomiting and frequent nausea. These are symptoms that are life changing. They make it hard to make it through the day and they are relentless. Cancer doesn’t ever give you a vacation or a day off. But Jane was not one to complain and wallow. Instead, she found new ways to make it through each new symptoms and all that they represented. She focused on her children, her husband, her never failing faith, and her determination to serve and help others. When cancer and all that it offers up would usually make someone stop in their tracks, Jane pushed through and she didn’t just push through to survive the day, she pushed through to help others, her kids, her friends, and her church. Jane continued to attend church every Sunday she could and she hosted fundraiser dinners. Those undergoing cancer treatment often talk about picking and choosing where to put their energy, because one event can increase pain and fatigue for days if not weeks. Jane always choose to invest her limited energy into her family, her friends, and her church and this is what will stay with me the most, this is what Jane gave me and so many others.

    When life is hard and even unbearable at times keep going and keep giving. I am so so blessed to have met you Jane. Thank you for all you gave.

    Whenever I pray for you and your family, I see you smiling in heaven. I know that God has received with open arms and declared, "Well done Jane, my good and faithful servant." May you and your whole family know God’s abundant peace.

  • Proverbs 31:25-31

    She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

  • Mark, Alex, and Austin

    My Friend Jane

    When we first came to Christ Church with young kids in tow, we were warmly welcomed into the community. And among the first to welcome us was Jane, and of course, John (because where there was one, the other was never far behind). The two were ubiquitous and made for a great team!

    There were quite a few of us with young kids at the time, and we had a lot of fun worshiping, teaching, putting on dinners, apple festivals, pageants, cleanups etc - all the things that define us and make us the community that we are. As we assimilated (or perhaps were recruited?!) into all the various activities of the church, inevitably we found at the heart of almost all of those activities what I will refer to as the “Flader Team”. And when I say the Flader Team I mean Jane, John, Matt, Mark, Carolyn, Rob, the extended family and all their friends. And Jane, more often than not, led this small army. Having been with the church since childhood, she was a font of knowledge about what had transpired in the past and she instinctively knew what we should do and prepare for in whatever activity we were undertaking. Jane would usually be the first to initiate the call to meet, organize and outline who and what was needed to accomplish our goals. In meetings she would quietly listen to all, and when she spoke, would counsel us with her conservative, good common sense approach we came to love and expect. And, she always did it with a smile.

    Jane always looked to see how she could help out in any situation, and it certainly inspired me. Whatever the event, I would look at Jane quietly organizing the Flader Team and others and I would think to myself “how can I help her out?”. She had that effect on you. Jane was always so selfless, giving and caring. She has been inspiring us for generations now, and through her example, we have all slowly become part of the Flader Team.

    She continued to successfully build that team because she also knew how to celebrate too. As we would work to finish the task before us, Jane would always be the first to crack a beverage and offer it to you for a job well done. We can all fondly remember innumerable times with Jane and John enjoying the camaraderie and fruits of our labors - to me the essence of fellowship.

    The last couple of years were tough though. Jane handled it with the grace, dignity and stoicism which were hallmarks of her character. I continuously marveled at her ability to positively soldier on through everything that challenged her. But John, her family, friends and steadfast faith sustained her and kept her carrying on throughout. Again, she inspires me!

    A true shining light has been taken from us too soon. I find it so hard to grieve in this time of social isolation. But, I do find solace in the memory of her smile and the selfless example she set for us. I know she is in heaven preparing and organizing for the celebrations of those who follow her.

    May God bless Jane, her family and all of us who knew her, and keep us in the warm embrace of his love.

  • With Deepest Sympathy, Lisa, Strick,Vanessa, and Collin

    Dear John, Mark, Matt, Carolyn, and Rob,

    Your Mom was a remarkable woman, a solid Christian, loving wife, mother, and a true friend to so many at Christ Church. Jane touched many lives and we are all the better for having had known her.

    She was a woman of Strength, Courage, Dignity, and Grace.

  • Susan Mitola

    Jane was the definition of a selfless person. Her dedication to her family, the church and her position at Benedict’s was a true reflection of someone living their best life. While working at her family’s business, Benedict’s Home and Garden, Jane was responsible for giving so many members of the Monroe community and our church’s community jobs, including our son, Christopher. One of my personal favorite memories was seeing Jane, and/or John, at Big Y. This is actually the last place I saw her, picking up groceries for her mother. We hugged and had a nice conversation, as we always did when we met there. Throughout Jane’s battle with cancer, I was always in awe of how beautiful she looked. As I think about this, I become more convinced of God’s presence in her life, as this is a direct reflection of her soul.

  • Martine Yourieff

    A Tribute to my Dear Friend Jane

    Jane has been an integral part of our parish life for so long it is hard to imagine it without her. Together with John, she has been the soul of virtually every Church dinner (and Apple Festival) for the past two decades. As I look back through the photos of pancake suppers, pasta nights, St. Patrick’s Day extravaganzas, Cinco de Mayo celebrations, roast beef dinners and late-summer lobster bakes….. Jane is at the fore; spatula, ladle or a beer in hand, her radiant smile illuminates every shot she is in. She was truly in her element when she was feeding a crowd and surrounded by friends and family.

    Jane gave unselfishly of her time and energy to our Parish, serving several terms on the Vestry and, of course, propelling our Apple Festival toward the successful fundraiser we have today. It was Jane’s idea to expand it into a weekend event, both to capitalize on the effort in setting it up, and to mitigate the effect of a rainy Saturday. Over the years, she (and John!) streamlined the apple pie-making sessions, so that each Summer we make more pies in less time. Her sense of commitment was always a rallying force when the hot, steamy nights of August were less than conducive to assembling pies. I shall be forever grateful for her recipes for perfect pastry and crumb topping. Her prize-winning Chili and vats of Clam Chowder were Apple Festival favorites. I just hope that we can faithfully replicate her recipes and do her proud!

    Personally, I have deeply valued my friendship with Jane, which began almost 30 years ago as our children bumbled around together in the Church nursery. When the Church School burgeoned, I was so grateful when Jane signed up to help teach. She stepped up even though her Sundays off (from Benedicts) were limited. In recent years Jane and I have served together on the Vestry and I have truly appreciated her support in cultivating the parish gardens. I have been inspired by Jane’s tireless efforts to support our parish community in so many ways, and by her faith. Even though duty called at Benedicts (especially during the busy Spring and Summer months), Jane rarely missed a Sunday service. Many of us have benefited from her practical, no-nonsense approach to getting things done, and we have all witnessed her great kindness and her gift for fellowship. This is surely her legacy.

    In the past year, as Jane has battled cancer and endless infections, she has done so with formidable courage. Her fortitude, in the face of a bleak prognosis, extreme pain and discomfort, has been nothing short of heroic. And I do mean heroic. Still, through it all, there have been moments of grace. Some fleeting, others truly memorable, as photos of 2019 will attest. Remember the July party attended by so many of Jane’s family and friends, and Jane’s last Roast Beef dinner in November? That Jane was feeling well enough to make the trip to Vermont for Georgia’s wedding last August was also a gift the Yourieff family will treasure always.

    Though Jane ultimately lost her battle, she fought it with grace and bravery and on her own terms, literally to her last breath. Our hearts go out to John, Matt, Mark, Carolyn, Rob and Jane’s very dear friend, Tonie, who have been by Jane’s side constantly, and of course to Jane’s mother, Merna, and all Jane’s family and lifelong friends.

    Like a great many others, I feel so blessed to have known Jane, and to share some wonderful times together. She has been a true leader within our Christ Church community. The ways in which we will miss her are countless. It’s so hard to think that when we are able to gather again, we will not see her smiling face. But I take comfort from knowing that while our beloved Jane is now with Jesus and all his Saints …..she is also not far away. As I re-read Canon Henry Scott Holland’s beautiful poem, two lines in particular speak to me as I think of Jane: “ Laugh as we always laughed …….play, smile, think of me, pray for me.” I know Jane would want us to do that.

  • "Death is Nothing at All" by Canon Henry Scott Holland

    Death is nothing at all.
    I have only slipped away into the next room.
    I am I, and you are you.
    Whatever we were to each other,
    That we are still.
    Call me by my old familiar name,
    Speak to me in the easy way you always used,
    Put no difference into your tone,
    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
    Laugh as we always laughed
    At the little jokes we always enjoyed together.
    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
    Let it be spoken without effort,
    Without the ghost of a shadow in it.
    Life means all that it ever meant,
    It is the same as it ever was,
    There is absolute unbroken continuity.
    What is death but a negligible accident?
    Why should I be out of mind
    Because I am out of sight?
    I am waiting for you for an interval,
    Somewhere very near,
    Just around the corner.
    All is well.

  • Margaret Marcotte

    Jane and I became friends through church, but we actually met beforehand when our family moved up from Washington, DC. We had just moved from a townhouse with a small garden to a 1-acre lot that needed some plantings, and I was clueless. I remember walking into the nursery, and Jane sauntered over asking if I needed help, and I had to admit I was clueless about growing a garden. She gave me a primer on plantings and was so patient through it all. Who knew that a year later, we’d end up at “her” church and we’d become friends through all the outreach, Apple Fests and dinners. My young daughters loved peeling vegetables and shucking corn for the Lobster Bakes, because they adored hanging with Mark, who horsed around with them like a big brother. It was his gentle manner with them and constant offering to help me lug heavy boxes of lobsters that was ever so appreciated. It showed me what incredible parents that she and John had been in raising their 4 children to be responsible, caring and hardworking….and look at the wonderful adults they have all turned into!

    Jane had always been a constant source of strength and stability in our church community, as well as the community at large, and I will be forever grateful for that. I will miss her presence – whether working together in the Food Tent at the Apple Fest, her genuine smile or casual hug around my shoulders. She will all be sorely missed. I am so glad that we got some real time to talk in our CCT Women’s Night Out in October. How blessed I was to sit next to her, and then again at the Roast Beef Dinner, hanging out with her again! I’ll miss you, my dear friend. Rest in peace, “Janie”.

  • Jen Rossel

    Jane embodied to me, the Connecticut Yankee personality. She said it like she saw it good or bad. She didn’t mince words and would not engage in idle chit chat. However, when I started to manage the Baked Goods table at the Apple Festival, I saw another side of her. Jane was funny, caring and always willing to help me during the Apple Festival. Without saying much, Jane would show up on both Saturday and Sunday mornings of Apple Festival weekend with a trunk full of pies she had baked the night before along with several homemade pumpkin pies and a couple of blueberry crumb cakes. And for the past three years, crates of apple cider donuts! If she couldn’t get the baked goods to the church in time, she sent one of her children to do it for her. She always made sure I received the pies and all the other items she had made for the Baked Goods table. This is despite the fact that she had worked her job at Benedict's that week, ordered the plants, corn stalks, apples, apple cider, etc. for the Harvest table, purchased all the food and paper goods needed for the food table tent, plus prepared the bases for the “Walking Taco, and New England Clam chowder, etc. She would check in with me at the end of the first day to see if I needed more baked goods and or more pies baked. I was so grateful for her unspoken assistance every Apple Festival for the Baked Goods table. She will be missed.

  • "She is Gone" by David Harkings

    You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived.

    You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.

    Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her or you can be full of the love you shared.

    You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

    You can remember her and only that she is gone or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

    You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on

  • Maryanne, Parish Administrator

    When I think of Jane, I immediately think of her sly smile and her quick wit. She would come into the room, with exuberance exclaiming "Hello Maryanne!" and then we'd have a nice chat before she bounded off to somewhere else. When she became treasurer, we spent a lot more time together and that's when I got to know her better. That's when I learned of her kind heart and her generous spirit. That's when I learned more about her family that she loved so much. That's when I learned about her sense of humor and heard her big laugh. And that's when I learned what a special person she was. As time went on, I saw another side to Jane. This was her strength, her faith, and her quiet resolve. This was a quieter Jane who braved an unrelenting illness with a grace that I am still in awe of today. I will always think so fondly of Jane and will remember her at Benedict's (where she and John patiently helped me with all of my gardening questions) and also at the church where she and her playful and loyal dog Moose would come and spend some time with me.

  • Jaye, Jody, Quinn & Cole Irwin

    We joined Christ Episcopal Church 20 years ago. My earliest memory of Jane was when I was teaching Sunday School and her son Mark was in my group. She came up to me afterwards to ask how he was. I remember telling her he was quiet and very good. Her response was ‘Really?!’ and then she laughed. Our kids would eventually go through confirmations together.

    I got to know Jane through all of our fundraising dinners and the annual Apple Fest. Most of our dinners would start off small in attendance and then her family would come in and fill the room. I always loved seeing her kids and their friends join us. It was such a testament of their love for the family. 💜 Her close friends Toni & Bonnie always helped with our church, even though they weren’t parishioners.

    Jane was at the forefront of all of our events. We used her pie crust recipe for our apple pie baking. She made the meatballs and sauce for our pasta dinner. Years ago we decided it would be fun to have a chili cook off. Needless to say she won AND I’m from NM!

    I have so many great memories of Jane. Too numerous to count. Her love for her family was evident in everything she did. 💛 She will truly be missed.

  • Ecclesiastes 3:1-22

    For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ...

  • Jerry Gregory

    I am somewhat at a loss for words at the passing of Jane Flader and what she meant to her family, the family business and the church.

    I first met Jane when she was in an off mood, so I kind of backed off until I realized she had a heart as good as gold and as big as . . . . . You can fill in your own answer.

    She was a fabulous cook in my view, tasted great and lots of it. But she had a small army at home and could always feed 1/2 of Monroe's kids when they showed up unannounced. All of which transitions to the marvelous church suppers and the cook tent at Apple Festival. If we ran out of chili on Saturday at the Apple Festibal, there would be another pot ready for Sunday morning. I loved cooking on the mega grill. The food supplies, material, energy and spirit Jane and John put into the success at the food tent was incredible. Hoorah for the food tent. Even the break down on Sundays ended up being a party with a cold Bud Lite Lime in hand as we told the best stories of the festival.

    Her family went beyond family. Quite a few years back I was in a low period in my life and Jane just invited me over for Christmas dinner with all the relatives. It was a meal of abundance and there was a gift for me to trade during the traditional Secret Santa exchange. What fun; what a generous gift. But to me the really best example of generosity and love was when Rob joined the family. Over time I saw a young man become a great young man any family would be proud of. Such a simple formula-work hard, love hard.

    Jane worked hard on all the right things and loved hard for those same things. I'm sure she'll have heaven organized in no time.

    I will miss you, Jane

  • Ginnie Glassman

    I joined Christ Church late in 2018. I had heard about Jane but I did not get to talk to her until the Mardi Gras dinner where I had signed up to help set up. I got there early ready to work but the tables were all set, the food trays all set out and the pancakes started. The woman scurrying around doing all this introduced herself to me as Jane. I had a hard time connecting this woman with the one I had heard about battling cancer. She had so much energy, such a friendly smile and was so organized. The only giveaway to me was the scarf over her head. I got to know her a bit more at dinners, picnics and services. I regret meeting her so late but rejoice that I got to know her and see the strong, warm, energetic and loving person that she was. My sympathies to John, Carolyn, Matthew, Mark and Rob. Heaven now has a new angel to watch over you.